In helping my youngest son decide on a future career path, we were recently reading a book on the art of the job hunt. In the very first chapter, the author provided a list of suggested actions for job seekers, one of which included asking for the job at the end of each interview. According to the author, candidates who specifically ask the prospective employer for the job are often surprised to find the answer is yes.
This made sense to me. Virtually every piece I’ve ever read about selling says that the best salespeople consistently ask their prospects for the business. There’s a similar concept in the marketing world from which I hail. It’s called the “call to action” and it does what it says: it includes a request for people to take a proactive next step to advance the relationship. The “action” you request can run the gamut—from sharing an email address in exchange for a free download, to calling a customer service representative for more information, filling out a form to get a quote, visiting a website, and beyond.
What people don’t always realize is that asking for what you want is not something that should be confined to the business world. In fact, by making it a habit, you can demonstrably and measurably transform your life.
The secret of manifesting
While not everyone would agree with me, I think that most of what people manifest in their lives is a result of something they’ve already asked for. If you’ve manifested love, health, and success, chances are you consciously asked for those results. If you’ve manifested loneliness, illness, or struggle, chances are you unconsciously asked for those results. Such is the power of our brains. We get the answers we seek—which is why it’s so important to pay attention to what we’re asking for.
This starts to make sense if you think of your brain like a type of search engine. As most of us know, Google can likely serve up an answer to the most specific or obscure of questions. How do I get hot sauce off my sweater? What was the name of that actor with the crazy sideburns? What’s the best Chinese restaurant in Omaha?
What’s radical is that our brains work much the same way. No matter what questions we ask ourselves, our brains are eager to serve up the answer. If we ask why we’re fat, stupid, lazy, unsuccessful—our brains are gonna answer. On the flip side, if we earnestly ask for a million dollar business idea, our brains will cast around for that answer too.
Of course, just like with a search engine, you’ll get better results with more specific questions. “How do I lose weight?” will deliver generic articles about eating habits and exercising. “How do I lose 50 pounds in 120 days?” will give you access to eating and exercise regimes that other people have used successfully. “How do I lose 50 pounds in 120 days on a vegan diet?” is going to get more specific still, sharing food plans that align with your objectives.
In my experience, manifesting works in precisely that manner. To get what you want, you need to ask for it. Clearly. In detail. Without equivocation.
Letting the seeds sprout
I’m not suggesting asking alone is enough, no matter how specific you are. Asking will yield you an answer. Manifesting requires you to act on that answer. And one of the biggest frustrations associated with manifesting is that you often don’t see the results until you’ve taken massive, concerted action over an extended period of time.
There’s a quote I’ve seen ascribed to both Bill Gates and Tony Robbins that goes something like this: People always overestimate what they can accomplish in one year and underestimate what they can accomplish in ten. This is a critical truth to keep in mind for anyone who is trying to attract new things into their lives. If you’ve asked the right question and have received an answer, you’re taking action to achieve your goals, and you feel like you’re spinning your wheels getting nowhere—keep going. The seed you planted may not be ready to grow this season, or even next. But if you keep watering it and exposing it to sunshine, it will ultimately sprout. It just may take longer than you anticipated.
I’m not saying the wait is easy. I’m not even saying it will make sense for everyone. What I do know is that we can attract more of what we want by having the courage to ask, act, and believe—a message I think is critical as we review our accomplishments over the past year and set goals for the coming year.
Aviva, you know I love you. We usually agree on many life values and I have enjoyed reading this blog, for the most part. However, this one was enough of a mixed bag to warrant a (cautionary?) response. I agree that it is good to ask for what you want. I agree that it is good to pay attention to what we are asking for. However, I take issue with the statement that if you are manifesting loneliness, illness, or struggle, it’s because you have unconsciously asked for it. This is “blaming the victim” mentality. While it is a good thing to take responsibility for our actions, conscious and unconscious, sometimes life happens. Despite our best efforts, we cannot control everything. You didn’t ask to have to struggle with a mother with mental (and in the end physical) illness, and I didn’t ask for a daughter to become ill and die slowly over many years. Life is a lot more random and complex than just saying that if you wish and work for something, it will happen. Let’s not burden people further who are suffering by telling them they’re not trying hard enough. Ok, now I’m off my little soapbox. Happy Chanukah and much love to you and yours.
I’m so glad you raised this Cheryl, because it highlights a concept I think it’s important to explore in more detail–something I’ll try to do in my next post. Until then, suffice it to say that I agree with you. I’ve written many times before in this blog that I don’t think we can control the external things that come our way. The only thing we control is our response to them. On the flip side, I think it’s critical that we be brutally honest with ourselves about what we may unconsciously be asking for. Sometimes negative things–including loneliness, illness and struggle–manifest because we’ve invited them, even if we didn’t mean to. If our fear keeps pushing people away, if our unconscious eating habits make us sick, if our refusal to face our own demons makes life more challenging for us, then we may be unintentionally playing a role in causing our own misery. I know because I’ve engaged in some of that behaviour myself. So thank you for calling me on this, because it deserves a more fulsome discussion than a throwaway line in a blog post, and I hope to be able to use this forum to address that. And if you think that’s a load of bunk too, I hope you’ll call me out again. Love you.