Here we are again, folks. The end of the year is approaching and we now sit on the cusp of another new beginning. I admit, it’s a tradition I love. It’s not like we don’t have other new beginnings throughout the year—the start of each month, the start of each week, the start of a new project, the start of a new friendship. As social animals, we have ample opportunity to begin again, all the time. But the ritualistic nature of the New Year appeals to me tremendously. It institutionalizes the idea of planning for the future and setting goals. It allows us to carve out space for reflection by giving us time off work and surrounding us with a festive, joyous holiday spirit. It encourages us to lay down the burdens of the past year and welcome in new possibility. And it gives us time to think back on the lessons we’ve learned along the way.

So, with 2018 drawing to a close, I thought I’d share with you some of the things I’ve learned over the past year to help set the stage for a more joyful, productive, connected, conscious, and carefree 2019.

1. Stay fluid. There’s a danger, I’ve discovered, in locking into a vision of the future. It’s all good and fine to imagine a picture of the outcomes you seek, but it’s best if that picture appears in sepia tones. That’s because, when we harden our vision of what we expect, we may miss opportunities that arise but that don’t match the vision exactly. Opportunities, I’ve found, always come ’round. They just may not look like you anticipated. When we stay fluid, we position ourselves to welcome the unexpected—which often delivers even better outcomes than we could ever have imagined on our own.

2. Be honest. I kinda suck at keeping in touch with people. It’s a hard thing for me to admit, because it doesn’t align with the story I like to tell myself about myself. But there you have it. I’m not good at reaching out. What I’ve discovered, however, is that if I’m honest about this with the people I care about, they’re willing to give me leeway. And that frees me up to connect in the ways that are most comfortable to me—by text, by email, in writing, and usually late. Being honest with others allows us to be true to ourselves without creating rifts in our relationships.

3. Take your time. For much of my life, I’ve had a tendency to make fast decisions, respond quickly to questions, fire before I aim. I’ve been changing that this past year. I’ve learned that taking time in advance to plan my next moves and think through my responses allows me to accomplish more, with less stress. It also lets me out of the ego trap that says I need to know all the answers, right now. Instead, I get to make considered decisions and move more slowly through life—enjoying all the pit stops along the way.

4. Invite the magic. I’ve recently revisited a book I read many years ago, called Three Magic Words, by U.S. Andersen. It’s a difficult book to read, with overly-ponderous language, but there are some gems hidden within it that continue to resonate with me. One line in particular once guided me—and has been doing so again just recently. It says: “Expect and accept. Know and experience. Be positive and thankful. For the great laws of attraction and creation are laws of attunement, and never divulge their secrets to those who batter at the door with force.” Magic doesn’t respond to demands. It’s like a shy wild animal that needs to be coaxed out of hiding by staying still, being patient, and getting into tune with your surroundings.

5. Play out on the skinny branches. This is actually my aunt’s mantra, and one I wholly embrace. Life is too short to stay safe all the time. Sometimes, you need to do things that seem a little crazy to other people, that skirt the edges of the comfortable, that take you places you wouldn’t normally go. I’m not advocating a wholesale dive into danger, but I do recommend a little dabbling into the unknown. It sharpens your edge, opens your vistas, and makes you really interesting at parties.

6. Be kind. It’s so damn easy to suck up into our minds. When we’re self-absorbed, we tend not to pay attention to the impact we’re having on others. And that just creates a cycle of dissociation. This year, I’ve been working to avoid that impulse by consciously being kind to the people I meet—whether in person or on the phone. It costs nothing, it takes but a moment, and it yields lasting dividends—both for ourselves and for the people we touch.

7. Keep practicing. I know it may come as a shock to some, but enlightenment still somehow eludes me. Sometimes, I lose it. Sometimes, I forget to be either conscious or carefree. Sometimes, I devolve into self-pity. But I have definitely learned how to keep those moments constrained, how to bounce back from them, and how to re-establish my equilibrium. It helps to remember that mindfulness is a practice, and I’m not going to master it on the first go. The trick is to keep practicing.

8. Shine. Followers of this blog will know that I really do believe we’re magic. You, me, all of us, made from stardust, etched in moonshine, suffused with light. We’re not going to feel it all the time, but when we do, it’s really important that we give ourselves permission to shine.

9. Say sorry. Relationships in this lifetime are rare and precious and need to be nurtured. So when conflict arises, it’s up to us to own up to our part of it and apologize sincerely. We should never let our ego get in the way of our relationships. It’s a pathway to regret.

10. Lighten up. A few years ago, a friend of mine gave me a lighter to carry around—as a reminder to “lighten up”. I admit, levity doesn’t come naturally to me. But I keep working it. The trick, I’ve found, it to be always willing to laugh at yourself. In a pickle? Made a mistake? Find yourself in an embarrassing situation? Laugh. We’re all human, people. Nothing creates common ground like a willingness to find joy in the silliness of the human condition.

11. Listen to the wind. And the rain. And the hum of cars moving, and the noise of crowds, and to distant laughter, and doors slamming, and music playing. The universe talks in a million voices. If we quiet down long enough, we can hear its whispers.

12. Connect to your priorities. I was doing some year-end goal setting recently, using a template I received years ago in a course I took. The heading for the section I was working on was called “fears and priorities” and it got me to thinking. Why lump fears and priorities together? Simple, really. When we’re truly clear on our priorities, fears melt away. So decide what’s most important to you and hold it close. You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish when you move past fear.

Wishing you a magical New Year!