I have a confession to make. I’m deeply attracted to stark, simple truths. Even though they often end up sounding trite.

Consider: one of my personal gurus, Michael Singer, author of Untethered Soul, has been known to say that the best way to stop smoking is to never light up a cigarette. He also tells us that the best way to stay constantly open is to never close.

Well, like, duh. Reductionist much? Extrapolating this one out, we could also say that the best way to lose weight is to never eat fattening foods or the best way to save money is to never spend frivolously. While true, the statements fail to take into account the single biggest determinant of human success: our will power. And while will is quite literally an endless resource, consistently tapping into it isn’t quite as easy as we sometimes wish it was.

The overnight success

My husband often says that he would love to know more about the 10 years leading up to the “overnight” successes we often hear about. Seriously, no matter how quickly someone seems to burst onto the scene, the overnight success doesn’t really exist. It’s a media myth. Real accomplishments take time. They require commitment and an unwavering focus on a goal that sometimes feels elusive.

The key word here, though, is “feels”. Our goals aren’t truly elusive. They just sometimes feel that way because we start listening to those little voices in our head telling us why we can’t reach the brass ring. I’m too young. I’m too old. I’m too tired. I’m distracted. I have other priorities. I’ll get to it later. One cigarette doesn’t make me a smoker. One doughnut doesn’t count.

What’s so insidious about these traitorous thought bubbles is that they’re not really wrong. One cigarette doesn’t make you a smoker. One doughnut doesn’t count. The problem is the proverbial slippery slope. At what point do our excuses take us totally off track? Where is the tipping point between occasionally cutting loose and entirely losing our way?

Mistakes were made

I read a book not too long ago called Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts. Written by two social psychologists, the book explores our amazing capacity to convince ourselves of our own moral rectitude. Thanks to a neat little mechanism in our brains called cognitive dissonance, we find ways to justify our decisions—even when they lead us far astray of our own moral compass. Truly, our brains are magnificent creations. We can convince ourselves of anything.

Which explains why I remain deeply attracted to the stark, simple truths. If we don’t allow ourselves to ever be led astray, the odds of reaching our goals go up exponentially. All we need to do is exert our will power to stay on our intended path. And for that, we need to build up a little momentum.

I think I can, I think I can

Remember The Little Engine That Could? The kids’ story about an animate train (seriously, no wonder kids are so often confused) that used its entire will to keep up with its larger brethren and get over a mountain. There’s a primordial story about momentum—our willingness to hold a destination so clearly in mind that we can overcome the barriers that we’ve erected in our heads.

There are tons of different tactics for establishing momentum. Starting small is one. Doing one small thing consistently each day to build up your momentum muscle. Another one is to be really clear about what you want to accomplish and why. When you generate enough emotional desire to change your habits, it gets easier to keep your eye on the ball. Being willing to learn from your mistakes is also critical. Rather than beating ourselves up when we veer off track, it’s important to keep our slip in perspective, determine what circumstances caused us to stumble, and go forward prepared to avoid the potholes we’ve already tripped on. Having an accountability partner also helps. When there’s someone else holding us accountable for our actions, we tend to think a bit more carefully before we act.

And then there’s simple brute force. I’m not saying it always works, or that it works for everybody. But if we truly have the capacity to choose which thoughts to buy into and which to ignore (and I believe we do), then we have the capacity to ignore those thoughts that threaten to throw us off track. We just need to remind ourselves, over and over, that we know we can, we know we can. I know it ain’t easy, but it can be that simple.