The word love means a multitude of different things to different people. Love is modeled and shaped for us as youth, watching our parents, the media, friends…unless we seek out a new definition of love ourselves.  The distinction of love I present in my title is the difference between satisfaction and fulfillment with love.  Satisfaction is temporary and fleeting.  Fulfillment is sustaining and long term.  Satisfaction gets an immediate need met.  Fulfillment is a richer experience related to something we value.

Nurturing commitment

What are the properties of love that keep it alive, flowing, vibrant, exciting, and fulfilling for its duration?  How do we nurture love, and give what our partner needs and desires, while receiving the ingredients in return that help our hearts expand?  One thing I have learned is that love is an investment.  It is something you contribute to on a daily basis.  It is a live entity that at first you recognize, then plant, fertilize, water, sing to, and grow.  Fulfilling love is a gift that you nurture and foster.  It is not for the weak, fulfilling love is oozing with passion.  It is drenched in adoration.  It is a willingness and commitment to be better than you were before, to help your partner be better than before, to enrich, improve, up-level, and soar.

It takes two

I began studying the concept of “divine partnership” in 1995 while studying Sociology with my professor and mentor at CSUSM.  There were aspects of divine partnership that called to me: deep intimacy, equality, respect, interdependence, harmony, etc.  I was drawn to divine partnership like a moth to a flame. I studied it extensively and discussed it at length with my mentor and Sociological peers.  Back then I was only experiencing satisfactory love.  I married at a young age, subconsciously resolving an absence, lack of affection, and appreciation from my father.  I wrote about divine, fulfilling love incessantly.  Divine partnership is a mutual decision engaged by two people who give as much, if not more than they receive.

Bliss

Flash forward 15 years.  I married my divine partner.  I am fulfilled with a love today, I had only written about and hoped for.  They say, “behind every great man there is a great woman.”  Ha, I say, “beside every successful, fulfilled, woman, there is an outstanding man.”  I consider myself part of a dynamic duo making a difference in the world.  My husband and I have a strong community of peers who like ourselves, have devoted their life to self-improvement and lifetime fulfillment.  Today we know many couples who are models of fulfilling love.  I asked a few of them to share an attribute of their bond, so that we mere mortals can have a peek inside, and perhaps too build a life in Nirvana.  Participating in a divine partnership enriches and adds value to your Best Self.  Below are 10 gems these couples shared for enhancement of fulfilling love and divine partnership. Enjoy!

  1. Bath Night – One evening each week take a bath together: wine, candles, bubble bath, discussing the highlights, areas, and subjects that need improvement.
  2. Faith in your Partnership – Have faith in the divine power of love and in each other’s ability to evolve, even during bumps in the road.
  3. View your mate as your mirror – When your spouse is acting in a way that irritates you, practice patience, remember they are reflecting parts of you that need healing as well.
  4. Hold each other’s aspirations – Plan and discuss your spouse’s dreams and aspirations as you would your own.
  5. “The couple that plays together, stays together” – Many friends swear by this motto. It is essential to play and have fun together often.  Be willing to go out of your comfort zone with new adventures.
  6. Share what is going right – We’re great at complaining about disappointment and poor behavior. Tell your mate what they are doing right with you.  It goes a long way.
  7. Ask your significant other, “What do you need from me?” – During stress or conflict this question is invaluable. It can dramatically shift the energy of an exchange.  Even though partners know each other well, mindreading creates miscommunication and frustration.
  8. Check-Ins – All couples I know who are thriving regularly check-in with each other to see how they are doing or feeling. Especially during times of transition or change.
  9. Loving Touch – Divine Partners hold hands, massage, cuddle, play with their mate’s hair, and flirt, these gentle connections keep love growing and expanding. Couples I know who are deeply connected touch each other often.
  10. Kind Consideration – When one partner has anything to convey to the other partner, feelings or requests, it is done with kindness and consideration.