As humans we communicate a lot… sometimes more than necessary. There are pros and cons to that. On the other side of a rich dialogue we can sometimes find ourselves tired, confused and overwhelmed; we misspeak and make errors now and then. We need to work with people who understand that. (At least that’s my goal of late.) I’m observing a loss of patience and tolerance. People are running from here to there, expecting us to remember things we may have forgotten. Assuming we know how to handle everything. If we don’t read minds or ask the right questions, we can have our heads bitten off pretty quickly. Assumptions fly across a room like arrows. Sometimes we need to take cover.

It’s a delicate time. There are significant shifts taking place underground. A decent size earthquake jolted Southern California awake, a few weeks ago, to prove it. We’ve launched into summer. Kids are out of school and diving head first into new activities, outings, and summer jobs. Things are shifting rapidly around us, and we need to keep up. Tempers are hot, just like the weather, our time is gold, and many of us don’t want to waste it having to explain or defend ourselves. How about we bring in those famous quotes: “Can’t we just agree to disagree,” and leave it at that? Or “can’t we all just get along?” I was reminded recently in a group of colleagues for us to remember, in regards to communication errors, we are human.

The opportunity

I can tell you what we do need more of these days. Kindness and understanding. Compassion and generosity. Patience and persistence. Showing up for people in a way that does not compromise who we are, and supports them just the same. As we grow and evolve, our needs change as well. What worked for us in the past does not necessarily work for us now. We’re at a different phase. (Level 2, I heard.)

Up-leveling creates a need for a new flow of communication. The communication needs to be gentle, private, and honoring of the relationship. Enough with the school of hard knocks. Tenderness is essential. In order for us to express ourselves from the heart, there needs to be softness and whispering involved. For in communication and dialogue, there are two hearts impacted, not just one. A monologue is a person speaking out loud to themselves; a dialogue is a loving, fair, respectful, considerate, exchange between two people… at least it can be that if we choose. In regards to the dialogue, both people sharing the exchange need to agree on guidelines or else the dialogue comes to a halt.

We have to be willing to take risks with this new flow of communication. Some may not understand it or want to learn a new way. It takes courage to change. It takes bravery to look someone in the eyes and ask for what you want and need in any relationship. Especially when we evolve and want more, better than we ever had before, in all areas. We want to experience nirvana in our everyday lives, with friends and family flying next to us; taking turns gliding in each other’s tail wind and absorbing the sun. This is my vision and hope for all. I want things in life to be constructive, and some may say that’s not possible. But, you get what you ask for, right? It’s what I want. How about you? What do you want? What kind of exchanges would you like to experience in communication? As a blog is a dialogue, I’d love for you to share if you feel compelled.

A higher order

In order for us to integrate our new learning into everyday life, it is crucial that we sit down with ourselves, then our friends and family to let them know where we are. It is not enough to guess, tell stories, or assume anymore. Some jobs that we are doing take more energy, new energy, and greater focus than ever before. It helps to articulate that point to those around us, so others know where we’re coming from, and more importantly, where we’re going. We waste too much time chit chatting about others instead of ourselves, sharing cat videos on Facebook, and rehashing the circus that parades down the street daily with the upcoming election. Every so often we need to ask ourselves, “how will my time be well spent?”

I don’t know about you, but I yearn to know less about the nonsense, the unending conflict, the demise, and dive deep into meaning and difference making. I vow to watch less satirical political comedy, cause it’s getting pretty sad, and to make more time to connect deeply and fully with myself and those I love and care about. I want more exchange of ideas and action on how to live an even better life. I want a higher community dialogue including tips of the trade from masters who are already where I’d like to be. I want to be respected in all exchanges, with everyone. And… I want to have fun while all this is happening. This is what I desire. Who’s with me?

A higher order is upon us and within our reach. It is coming forth to be embraced and nurtured. Welcome it as you would a best friend. Take a walk with me on this beautiful trail, beside the lagoon, through the trees; as we ponder the delicious delicacy and considerate complexities of human interaction.