I love this quote I just saw from Maya Angelou, it fits perfectly with my focus this week.  “Nothing will work unless you do.  This is not the time to passively live life.  If you want your experience in this life to improve, it is time to get to work!”

There has been an upheaval of emotions in the last few weeks.  No matter what side you believed you were on, or who you were rooting for, maybe you wanted to stand with compassion, integrity, and justice.  Wait, don’t we all want to stand with those traits?  Truth be told, we are the makers of our life.  External people and circumstances only account for about 10% of actual influence on us.  The other 90% is internal.  With this information, we have some decisions to make.  We can continue to berate, slander, give in to fear, and destroy what we do not agree with; but isn’t that what we are fighting against?  I saw a woman two days before the election at a coffee house wearing a “Fuck Trump” baseball cap. No matter how she felt about the man, is this somehow better than the vulgarity she is against?  If it is, how so?  Do two wrongs make a right?  I noticed this woman with the cap and pointed her out to a friend, commenting that somehow she thought her hat was a noble statement, and asked how exactly was her cap making the situation better?  The only way things are going to improve is if we get involved, take up a cause, and take positive action.   We have been given a monumental opportunity to reflect on ourselves and ask how we may have contributed to the state of our nation.  Many people may not be ready to hear that yet.  This week I wanted to introduce some ways that we can heal, be heard, take action, and grow.  Isn’t that always what it’s about?  No matter what happens outside of us, the only real power we have is inside of us. 

Turning the focus inward

You are powerful, if only you knew how powerful you were.  It’s time you did.  You are the catalyst of your experience.  It’s an ideal time to start an inner dialogue on the subjects we are feeling so passionately about.  Are we clear on the specific topics?  Have we written them down?  Are there new issues we feel strongly about?  In my mind, I see reoccurring negative emotions as a call to action.  This association has helped me throughout my life in many ways.  If I can do something to improve a situation, I will, otherwise my agreement with myself is that I will let it go for now.  If we can consider this idea, we may be able to make progress on important topics near and dear to our hearts, and begin to take steps forward toward actually making a difference.

Allowing ourselves to grieve

It is obvious at this time our collective wounds have been opened for healing.  It is important to remember that each of us grieve differently.  We must honor ourselves and the individual process each of us go through in order to heal.  I’ve seen some people enraged, because they can not express fear.  I’ve watched other people blame, so they do not have to take any responsibility.  I’ve also experienced those in apathy recently, acting almost as if their lives were over.  We must find the courage to share the truth about what is happening for us, not just now, but always.  If we can let other people know where we are, they can help us, they can show empathy, compassion, and respect.  Upon my mother’s passing several years ago, I was overcome with a wave of muteness.  It was not logical for me, there were just no words.  I went very deep into myself, stunned at times by my behavior that was diametrically opposite to me.  I did not want to talk to anyone, not even my best friends.  I could not explain what was happening for me.  I felt fortunate to have a significant other who could speak on my behalf.  After a period of time, dear friends of mine delivered a basket on my doorstep, filled with all my favorite things, so I could remember what I liked.  It had delicious wine, cheese, chocolates, and a sweet package of affirmation cards.  They were simple cards, with affirmations like: I am wise, I am strong, I am kind.  I remember the impact reading these cards had on me each day, they were reminding me of who I was.  I had forgotten.  It seems at this point in time many of us have forgotten, and this entire process was designed perfectly for us to remember who we are, or better yet, to shine a light on who we are to become.

Focus on what you want  

We all know quite well what we do not want.  In our society we are taught in depth about what we should dislike or fear.  It’s bizarre to think that in order for us to live the best life we can, we often need to go against the grain.  In order for us to move ahead in the healthiest directions possible, we have to get clear about what we want, then vocalize it.  Our thoughts and words have power.  When we post things in the social media realm or curse things regularly, what we are really doing is asking for more of that.  A good practice to move in the opposite direction of stifling behavior is to recognize what you don’t want, and shift your thought to the exact opposite, then use that as your focus or point of discussion.  It turns “I hate bigotry,” into “I stand for equality.”  When you shift your thoughts, language, and dialogue to that which you want, you will magnetize with that and attract others who feel the same.

Be the change

Volunteer for a person, organization, or campaign that is doing the work you want to see accomplished.  This act empowers you.  Make calls to people in public office.  The duty of public officials is to serve the people, not the corporations, remind them, get involved in the political process on a local level; join a school board or a county commission.  If you don’t have the time, donate money to organizations fighting the good fight.  These are just a few of the ways you can take action to make a difference.  Becoming part of a movement can greatly empower and educate us on subjects we have been blind to and expose us to people we rarely talk to.  My year of extreme activism taught me more about myself and how our society functions than anything I have ever taken part of in my life.  The power in the lessons I learned, the people I met, the places I went, and the experiences I witnessed, are an integral part of who I am today.

Between tolerance and acceptance there is a new place emerging.  I am one to say that tolerance is no longer enough and it’s going to take a new form of listening, paying attention, and elevation in our conversations to improve our culture.  Apathy is the lowest rung on the totem pole of emotion.  In order for us to rise greater than we ever have before, perhaps we need to feel the agony of defeat.  Apathy to action can be gradual or swift.  We all must go inside ourselves and determine what we need.  My observation is that people are starting to feel again, I am watching countless people awaken from what seems like a generation of slumber.  What happens next is up to us.  Remember, it’s not the 10% of outside influences that create our destiny, it’s the 90% that comes from inside ourselves.