There are some fundamental truths that I believe with all my heart. Experience has taught me that we often attract what we focus on. I know that when I’m feeling heaviness and sorrow, I have the capacity to shift my thinking and choose lighter thoughts. I believe that time is the great healer and will always bring us a new perspective. I understand that, by controlling our minds, we create our own realities. I trust that I can stay grounded in the present if I commit to keeping my heart wide open.

But there’s a flip side to these beliefs that not everybody likes to acknowledge, and that’s this: sometimes, the brightest path can still lead you in the wrong direction. Sometimes, the way out is not around, but through. Sometimes, the road to freedom is jagged and paved with pain.

The soul’s evolution

I choose my words carefully here. I’m not discussing the road to happiness, because I’m not convinced that happiness is the penultimate goal. It’s unquestionably awesome and something we should diligently invite into our lives on a daily basis. But I’m not sure it’s the route to our soul’s evolution. Freedom, on the other hand—at least, the type of freedom I’m talking about here—is a release from misperception. It’s a state that allows us to be truly okay with who we are and where we are, always. Reaching that kind of light often means taking a walk through the dark.

I’m going to reiterate something I’ve said numerous times in this blog: pain, darkness, discomfort are not—in and of themselves—“bad”. That means structuring our lives around their active avoidance isn’t truly the secret to that elusive happiness we’re all busy pursuing. It simply cuts us off from a realm of emotions that have the capacity to help us grow—and that growth is the breeding ground of freedom.

A careful dance

I’m not suggesting that we invite pain into our lives. Anyone who’s been on this earth for any length of time knows that’s not necessary. Pain will find us without our help. The real test starts at that moment.

To be sure, there is absolutely nothing wrong with trying to manage that pain by choosing different thoughts, inviting a new perspective, and keeping our hearts open. And, there is also absolutely nothing wrong with giving that pain free reign through our bodies. The only mistake, as far as I can tell, is desperately hanging on to either emotion. Too much avoidance stymies our evolution. Too much wallowing makes us too heavy to fly.

“Only in the darkness can you see the stars ablaze.” 

~ Trevor Hall