Sometimes I don’t realize the timeliness of a topic until after I’ve written about it.  My heart dropped several times after the unfolding tragedy in Las Vegas; I found myself anxious, weepy, and wandering, feeling grief.  Desperate times call for grounded measures, indeed.  Unfortunately, when writing Part one of this series, I did not calculate that times could get more desperate.  When circumstances and people around us are falling apart, where can we turn?

Inward is a good place to start

We’ve got to learn to nurture ourselves when times get tough.  What do you focus on when things go south?  It’s time we pause and ask ourselves.  We have a need to be informed, but to what extent?  How many times do we need to see it on Facebook? How many video clips must we endure?  How many shows do we need to watch the same exact bit rehashed over and over on late night satire?  It’s not that funny anymore!  Is being repeatedly shaken up and frightened going to help anyone?  Not likely.  I don’t know about you, but I had to set firm boundaries as to what I could handle, and decide what types of news and exchanges were beneficial for me.  Spreading fear is not going to make things better, however caring for and listening to ourselves may.

Get clear

We cannot make sound decisions from chaos.  When times get tough, setting boundaries can be a life saver. Boundaries are behaviors we hold others to. It’s about you informing others about what works for you.  Is it ok for people to do or say anything to me at anytime they feel like it?  No!  Figure out what feels right for you and what you need during stressful times, speak up, ask, and share your needs.  If you don’t know, that’s ok too.  Your speaking up will allow others to do the same.

Change your element

In the last few weeks, many of my friends shared that, during difficult periods, they took a swim in the ocean.  Water is an incredible healer.  Water is soothing, invigorating, and restorative.  Take a hot bath with aromatherapy salts, go in a Jacuzzi and allow yourself to be massaged by jets.  Dive in a pool.  When we are stressed, we are stuck.  Go get a massage.  We hold energy in our bodies. Massage is therapeutic, it disperses energy throughout our bodies and helps restore homeostasis.  Do yoga.  Yoga takes you out of your head and into your body and heart.  As Einstein stated, we can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking that got us there.

Avoid gossip

When you share information, ask yourself if it’s beneficial.  Ask: will sharing this information help?  We often talk to hear ourselves talk, sometimes without having much to say.  Be more constructive with your conversations.  Build people up, expand on ideas, create new ways of being and doing.  The world will be improved or destroyed by your conversation and interaction with it.  Make a choice to be more constructive in your exchanges.  You will be blown away at the difference this one standard will have in your life.

Become part of the solution 

Many people and organizations are taking positive action on the difficulties we are experiencing in our society.  If you do not know what to do or where to turn, donate your money or time to an individual or organization that does.  Volunteering is powerful medicine.  When you shift your focus to helping others, your entire lens changes.  This is an empowering action that will give you an immediate sense that you are doing something for the good.

Collaborate

Don’t try to handle things all by yourself. Reach out and seek support.  Have a session with your therapist to gain perspective and create positive action steps.  Join a mastermind group that is solution-oriented and can share strategies to enhance every area of your life.  Hire a coach to help you define what is working for you, what needs to be let go, and what needs an upgrade.  Like horses with blinders on, we can’t see what’s going on in our blind spots.  We need the proper assistance.

The bottom line… things are not going to improve unless we do.  It’s time to stop complaining. It’s time to circle the wagons, come together, and brainstorm how to lift each other up.  The lone ranger mentality is long gone; this is a new era where you take on a major role.  What are you doing on the side right now to make things better?  How can you contribute?  What skills and talents do you possess to improve these times we are living in?  It’s time to become the star in your own show. We need you, and if you aren’t sure how, now is the time to figure it out.