by Greg Klym

Stop whatever it is that you’re doing. Take three deep belly breaths. Observe what’s happening in your mind and body. Proceed with whatever it is that you’re doing next. Voila, you have found the pause!

Some spiritual teachers call it the sacred pause. A space created between stimulus and response that allows a person in any given moment in any given situation the choice to respond skillfully versus reacting emotionally. What a gift we can give ourselves and to those around us when we learn to be more responsive versus reactive.

So it sounds pretty easy, right?! Just stop, breathe, check in and if the situation calls for it, choose to do things a little differently. Choose to respond with a calm, compassionate tone when your child leaves the kitchen looking like a war zone after snacking. Respond with a smile and a wave after being rudely cut off in traffic. Ok, maybe not so easy!

Our habit patterns can be triggered in a split second and when it happens, the ability to rein it all in and choose a skillful response can be somewhat impaired, to put it mildly. Old patterns die hard, especially the emotionally reactive ones which can make so many situations that we face in a day a real challenge.

With all that said, there is hope – big, big hope! Enter the sacred pause. We can use this amazingly effective and efficient mindfulness tool to drastically change how the course of any event unfolds. It’s in the pause that we can bring online a part of the brain that allows us to see a situation clearly, making logic and rational thought accessible in order to help us make wiser choices with our words and actions.

So how do we do this? Awareness and practice. You can’t work with something that you’re not aware of, so it starts there. There needs to be a willingness to bring greater awareness to situations in your life where you may be reacting emotionally, coupled with a strong desire to make a change in that behaviour.

If you’re on board with that, the second step is practice, practice, practice. Take 30 sectors, three, four or five times a day, to stop, take three breaths, observe what’s happening in your body and mind, and then proceed. Put reminders in your day planner or your phone to stop and practice. Put post-it notes out in places that you frequent – the dashboard of your car, on your laptop computer, etc. as a reminder to practice the pause.

Do it as frequently as you can throughout the day regardless of the situation so you build up the muscle of the pause. Over time, this practice will increasingly move you in the direction of responding versus reacting, which is so incredibly liberating. Give it a shot and see where it takes you!

Greg runs Greg Klym Coaching, where he helps people bring a greater level of joy, happiness, peace and overall health and well-being into their lives through the practice of mindfulness. Follow him at: https://www.facebook.com/gregklymcoaching/