I do not think anyone can say that there is not a lot happening in our world right now. Circumstances and events that we are used to hearing about overseas are hitting a bit close to home. In order for us to do more than just survive these situations, we need to keep our feet firmly planted on the ground. We and everyone we know are being impacted in one way or another. Many people I know are finding it difficult to cope, move forward, or even concentrate on what’s in front of them. We are bombarded with poor world relations, intense environmental factors, and a political climate spinning out of control. What can we do to center ourselves and get a grip during these tumultuous times?
Grab that toolbox
You know all those tools and techniques that you learned and collected throughout your life to calm and reassure yourself that everything was going to be ok? Yes, those. Pull all your tools out and test them one by one, then use them! Each of us have rituals and practices; from music to meditation, from breathing in positive ions at the ocean to working out, that have worked for us during difficult times in our life. Now is no different. Do yourself a favor, sit down with a pen and paper and list 5-10 methods that have worked for you in the past. Integrate and update them into your life now!
Respond with compassion
It’s imperative for us to remember that everyone around us is under an unusual amount of pressure, both seen and unseen. We must strive to respond to each other with compassion, and assume the people in our lives are feeling stress too. If all of us stay scared, angry, and aggressive, we are going to fall quickly. Not one of us, but all of us. Give others the benefit of the doubt that they are doing the best they can. This is how you would want people to respond to you, right? Be an example. We need heroes and role models more than ever. Practice philanthropy, reach out to people who are not doing as well as you are and check in; a phone call in the middle of someone’s anxiety goes a long way.
Ask questions, don’t make assumptions
I’m finding people around me, and honestly in general, are at their limits of toleration. Society is teetering on the edge, and it’s not pretty. We like to assume everyone is on the same page as we are, but right now, we can not. If you are unsure, ask! It’s may sound simple, but it goes a long way. Even if it’s an exchange with a family member, that family member may be experiencing greater challenges or stress at this time than ever before. Be considerate. Ask those around you how they are, and what is going on with them. We are feeling bombarded; the only way we are going to come out unscathed on the other side is by supporting one another.
Into the heart
As humans we are constantly trying to fix things and make them better. This is a good thing. If you see someone struggling and want to assist them, ask specifically, what do you need from me? This shows people you care personally and allows them to receive your help without having the burden of asking for it. Some of us are bad at asking for help or have been taught that it is a sign of weakness. The question “what do you need from me,” allows the other person to get out of their head and into their heart, where a majority of good solutions reside. We’re overthinking things and it’s not getting better.
Be solution oriented
Sometimes just listening to someone can deeply enhance a person’s well being. I’m solution oriented. I know, we like to fix it. Telling someone how you can support them gets them thinking about it. And there is something to be said about showing up. A friend of mine asked what day was good for her to come down and help me pack for our move; she didn’t ask if I wanted help packing, she asked me what days were good for her to come. Do you see the difference? I may not have asked for her assistance…and it was invaluable. Sometimes talk is just talk and the best thing to do is to show up and just start doing it!
Go easy on yourself
Most important to keep in mind during challenging times is to be gentle with yourself. We’re prize fighters when it comes to beating ourselves up, unfortunately it’s what we learned. It’s time to treat ourselves like we would a best friend. Greet them joyfully, invite them in, offer them a soothing drink, sit down, and ask how they are. There’s no way in the world we can show other people compassion if we don’t begin with ourselves. It won’t work. I remember my mother swore she could not show her mother compassion because it had not been given to her. I told her “you better learn now, this is your opportunity, your lesson to learn. If you don’t, you will never forgive yourself when she is gone.” We go to bed with ourselves and wake up with ourselves. We need to summon the best that is within us right now. Tread lightly, go easy. When the tumultuous times come, take a deep breath, get a good grip, and keep your feet firmly planted on the ground.
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